The Back-bencher Supremacy

Finally I had some entertainment in class today. A great teacher who is known as a master soliloquist amongst us, the Last Bench Union, brought a guest lecturer to our college to give us a talk on Latin American writing. No prize for guessing that I do not remember her name. I had gone out to get some fresh air and returned just in time, before the lecture began. My usual seat in the last bench was taken. But the entire last bench on the other row was totally empty. I started to smack my lips at the prospect of being able to lie down on my back and catch up on my sleep.

Before I did that, I wanted to hear a few lines from our guest to know if she was interesting to listen to. She began with a lot of energy and enthusiasm (which did remain till the end), but the speed at which she spoke made me feel like I was listening to a train pass by. Her words shot into my right ear and fired out from my left, at such tremendous speed that I was left mystified as to what they meant. Nevertheless, the people around me seemed to be enjoying the talk, which is surely a good thing. Then I noticed (as I always do from such an advantageous position) a teacher who has drunken, half closed eyes. What caught my attention is that he had roving eyes too. His eyes were all over the place in the classroom while it seemed that he was paying rapt attention to the speaker. Still waters definitely do run deep… very deep!

It is interesting to observe what teachers can be up to when they are sitting on the benches with us and attending a lecture. I lost no time in searching for the man some of us refer to as “The Boss.” He was sitting in the corner-most seat on the front bench. Boss was looking at the speaker in a very disinterested fashion (perhaps he was feeling a little alienated). Then right under her nose, he gave out a large yawn, put his head on the desk and went to sleep (or so it appeared). I was amused. Had he been a student, he would have been one of our close friends for sure. After some time, he got up and began to stare out of the window (just as I do from time to time). I was enjoying a quiet laugh by myself, when The Boss stood up and walked out of the class! Someone whispered that he didn’t have manners. Boss surely is qualified enough to be a part of our intimate circle of friends, never mind the generation gap….

I noticed a few more things, but they are a bit too trivial to mention. Sooner or later (I don’t know which one is applicable in this case), the lecture got over and people began to ask their questions, which she was only too glad to answer. The defining moment came when The Soliloquist fired one query at her, to which she responded with added vivacity. What she spoke was geek to me (as always), but her body language and energy caught my attention. Her forceful eyes betrayed her permanent smile as she sat at the edge of her seat, explaining I know not what! I thought that at any moment she might pounce on poor Soliloquist and tear him to pieces. The Soliloquist seemed to sense it too and looked intimidated (at least that’s what it seemed from the view of him I was getting from the last bench). I was relieved when the event got over and the poor man left the class in perfect health.

This had been one of the best lectures I had attended so far this year, I reflected. I wish we can have this guest lecturer give us a talk every now and then. I am more convinced than ever that the back bench is the most superior position to be in, in any classroom. The data I collected today is invaluable and has increased my knowledge of our English Department manifold. Today, I solemnly swear to remain a backbencher for as long as I am a student.
Long live Last benchers’ Union!!!